Times like these

I hate times like these, when nothing is working right.

When I woke  up today I felt so great, during the day I felt more worse, just worse. I can't imagine what had happened. People stopped greeting me, nearly everyone avoids me. Its a funny thing, now. I used to think that I am lonely in my school time, but now I am really lonely. The more people avoid me the more I am thinking about why no one talks to me. Yeah I know, because I never started a real conversation with someone. It isn't easy to talk with me, I have nearly no hobbies and my humor is strange. Yesterday, I read an article where other people searched for others for friendship, relationship, "sex"-relationship and some more. I wanted to reply to some of them, but then I recognized that I don't really want this. I don't want a stranger to go out with or go shopping or to chill in the park. I want someone I already know, someone I know. Unfortunately I am surrounded by strangers. And I also thought about the time. I have no time to go out, of course if I want to have free time I can take some if I want. But I won't take free time for strangers, because this would be probably a waste of time. Someone to hang out with, should be in my course of studies. But at the moment my colleagues are treating me like a ghost, so no use in trying to connect. Eventually I am tired of thinking how lonely I am and why people are avoiding me.

I am alone now and thats it. I don't want to ask myself anymore why. I will try to take life how it is. No worries about others , because their are no others. Maybe I am feeling more free. Maybe this text is just crap.

At the moment I am working on some stuff for computer science, but I my skills are small and I am scared of exams, really scared. Must keep on working on stuff I barely understand. That is university for me. Working alone on stuff I don't understand.

Now a little bit about you, my loved one. I saw you today and I waved to you, you waved back and smiled. You were waiting on your math test. I really thought about coming over to you and wish you good luck. But I preferred to walk to my next lectures. Well, I am removing myself from you more and more. Enough about you.

I just read an interesting post about human and humans behavior in war

from: nanashi gm

People says that war is cruel and everyone deserves peace

but i say otherwise

during the warring era, people fights for their lives everyday, people discerns enemies and allies. While life is fragile it’s also shining brightly.

nowadays, most of the world is in the state of perpetual peace. The fighting still continues, but only within every human, we can no longer identify enemies and allies, most jobs no longer requires physical prowess since hard labor are being done by machines.

Humans keep getting weaker everyday, rather than evolving their physical body, they keep manufacturing things to lessen their burdens, while using tools is not a bad thing but the usage has been astronomical, i’m sure human dependency to tools and medicines will be the downfall of mankind one day.

The meaning of life keep diminishing everyday. This peaceful era destroying the mind of the people. I bet no one actually cares for nationalism anymore. This peace represses most human emotions, instincts, and natures. We are being turned to either robots or zombies, forced to be working as cogwheel of society. The peace is destroying humanity, turning us into mindless freaks that only care about money.


What do you think? I am against war, but I have to admit that war has its positive things. But in the end the negative aspects will overwhelm the positiv....

XOXO